Monday, August 28, 2006

Reflections on a personal object lesson

When I was younger in my faith, I would read passages like 1 Corinthains 12, when Paul says "earnestly desire the grater gifts", and then pray something like, "God, please make me a prophet!". Before I really knew what was in the prophetic literature of the OT, I just kind of assumed that prophecy was some guy in a robe walking around doing miracles. Then I actually read the Old Testament, and saw that it was a lot more than that, that a common way for God to give a message to the covenant people was through an object lesson, which often came at the expense of the prophet. For instance, God told Ezekiel, to lay down on his side for several months, then bare his arm and prophesy against Jerusalem for their iniquities.

On Saturday, as I was driving back from St. Cloud, trying to make sense of some recent events, it occured to me that I may be an object lesson to some people in my life. I'm not claiming to be a prophet, but I think that God may still use events in a person's life to serve as warnings to others. And, if that's the case, please learn from this.

If you've read any of the previous entries I've posted on this blog, you'd probably have pieced together that this summer, I decided to pursue a girl who I had been friends with for a while. Long-ish story short, she turned me down, but insisted that we should still be good friends. It's been less than fun to live through, but it's a great illustration of what Christ goes through with us regularly. He comes to us, offering intimacy. We then counter-offer, saying, "Jesus, I like you, I have a great time with you, and I love what you do for me, but I'd like to keep getting what you give me from a safe distance. I'm really just too busy for something serious with you." He must just have to shake his head, thinking, "Don't you understand? You can't get all that I want to give you if you want me an arm's length away!" Seeing this analogy takes away from some of my anger, but adds to the grief that I'm feeling. Here I am, a flawed and evil man, completely bitter about being strung along and then shot down by another human like me, when I've done the same to the God who gave me life. Not only am I a reject, I'm a hypocrite on top of that.

What a wretched man I am! Who will set me free from this body of death? Thanks be to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Rom 7:24-25)

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe the real reasons that the way this summer played out for me are way over my head, far too complicated to understand. That's a distinct possibility. Or on the other hand, maybe this will still make sense in the long run and I'll find out that my learning this lesson was the only reason for this paritcular unfolding of history. But either way, I still hold these truths: Behold, Christ stands at the door and knocks. Draw near to him, and he will draw near to you. You're as close to God as you want to be. It's high time to take his grace.

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