Thursday, January 31, 2008

Winter conversation tips

It's flippin' cold out. You know this. I know this. Everybody else in the Twin Cities knows this. Therefore it doesn't make a good conversation topic. Also, please don't tell me about how you "don't mind the snow, but the cold is terrible!". Everybody else shares this opinion; it's kind of like saying " I like money" or "I don't appreciate car wrecks".

You can keep the same point of view, but here's a little-known fact: if you say the opposite of what you really mean, people still tend to understand your point and can even be fooled into thinking that you're interesting. For instance, if you wanted to express your feelings about snow and cold, you could instead say "You know what? I love not being able to feel my face after spending 30 seconds outside, but I get absolutely infuriated by the sight of that cold white powder lying all over! What a mess!" People will still be tracking with you. Try it.

Just a thought.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

No sense of proportion. Totally worthless.

Even though I horribly overestimated the size of her finger, Tara said she'd marry me anyway. Sweet deal.