Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Waxing, waning and other tricks up the moon's sleeve



Here's a story from yesterday morning. I was in my mostly automated start-the-day routine, and I had just changed into some fresh undies, and was working on the pants part of the outfit when I realized I had to fart. So I did, thrice, all of which were obnoxiously loud and of course, smelled like potpourri. Even in my barely conscious state of morning stupor, I was able to mentally articulate this thought: "I've only been wearing these boxers for like 30 seconds, and I've already ensured that they will smell like butt for the rest of the day." For some reason I thought about this event a couple hours later, and decided that it's a decent metaphor for the human condition in general. We're all given the clean underwear of a heart and soul and mind, and immediately we all fart in them in our own ways. And then we deal with the farts and the fart underwear the rest of our days.

Maybe some things that have happened in the last month are shaping my thoughts right now more than they should. I'm just saying, its kind of been something to cling to, I guess, that we're all a bunch of F-ups.

Yeah, about that. I've been on a bit of a hiatus from sharing opinions for the last lunar orbit for various reasons. Certainly not for lack of introspection though. Problem is, a lot of my ideas still aren't done cookin'. What it all means is that I'm being evasive, and if you've asked me how I'm doing anytime in the last couple weeks you've probably figured that out. Or been lied to. So, uh, I'm sorry, but I'm not.

So do you remember the scene at the very end of the movie Castaway, where Tom Hank's character is standing at this crossroads? That's totally me right now. Except that there's red tape blocking the road in every direction except the way I just came from. I'm just kind of frozen. Ugh.

On the other hand, I just joined up with last.fm, which is awesome, and craploads of fun. You can find out what it's all about by clicking here. Just know that it has my recommendation. If you do join up, come find me, my screen name is topher_anderson.

2 comments:

timmer k. said...

I love to see you counted amongst the bloggers, Chris. I won't say something cliche right here, though that would probably come naturally. Thanks for being honest though. And thanks for joinging lastfm. And thanks for relating the Christian walk to flatulents. BTW, I linked you on my blog. That's right--You've made the big time.

Shortie said...

I am very impressed with the metaphor. Remember that the power lies in you to stick those soiled underwear in the wash. Turn your problems to a greater power... that is my advice that's all. O’ and be glad that you did not pisfarshitdiarrem in your britches! Cause if you did pisfarshitdiarrem... well... I probably would not be your friend.