That said, it's thursday night, and I'm bored, and I think I've accumulated a critical mass of random thoughts. Behold as they spill before you into convenient categories.
Sports
Are they the opiate of the masses for the 20th and 21st century? I won't pull the trigger on taking a stance. If that hypothesis is somehow valid, I would in fact qualify as a druggie via my penchant for Major League Baseball.
With regards to the twins, their goose is cooked unless Terry Ryan can pull the trigger on a blockbuster trade. Most people say Torii Hunter to the Yankees, but I say Rondell White to *anyone* in exchange for a pack of crayons. He's a DH, but his thing is hitting into double plays. Sorry pal, you gotta go. Francisco Liriano will be the best pitcher in baseball someday; his stuff is absolutely filthy. But he can't save the team on his own.
The physical universe
In other news, I no longer find any practical relevance in Murphy's law. Contrary to popular belief, it is not an inherently pessimistic montra, but simply states, "given infinite time, anything will happen that can." However, infinite time is not something that the universe has to work with. Being a theist, I think the universe is not a permanent fixture. As stated in Psalm 45: "The heavens are the work of your hands/ they will perish, but you remain/ they will wear out like a garment/ you will roll them up like a robe". But even my more materialist friends agree that because of the 2nd law of thermodynamics, the universe is drawing toward a state of heat death, in which all energy will exist in a form that is useless for any chemical reaction or mechanical work. Bummer. This severely limits the plausibility of the condition for Murphy's law being met. Hence my conclusion, Murphy's law is valid in the hypothetical realm, but worthless to those of us stuck in a physical reality.
Infestations
There are mice in my house, and there are rats in the building where I work, which is a pain. But it makes me think, what if buildings were commonly infested with larger animals? People would be totally desensitized to the humor involved in buying a goat trap (really just a freakin huge rat trap), smearing some peanut butter on the lever, and finding a crushed goat on it the next morning. Maybe even a live goat, struggling to get free.
My problems
Girls want guys who appear really tough, but are actually really nice on the inside, or something. That's what my friend Sarah said, anyway. If that's true, it would explain a lot about why I'm single, because I'm a total panzy, but kind of a jerk once you get to know me. From the outset I've lost the idealist "He might be okay underneath" or "I can change him" girls. But down the road, I lose the more pessimistic "well, at least he'll be nice" crowd. My solution to this dilemma? The 5:00 shadow. I checked my attributes, it adds toughness +5.
Life would be a lot easier if it were like an RPG, because everything I owned would be accessible from an off-screen inventory whenver I needed it. It makes me wonder why you find so much stuff in chests in those games, because why do people need to store stuff if they can just carry it around with them wherever they go without any movement penalty?
Lameness
That is the only category to put MN state Highway 297 in. Here's a visual aid to help me state my case:
If you look really closely, you can see the sign that says "Speed Limit 25" in the background, as well as the end of the road. The really sad part is that I'm standing only a few hundred feet from the beginning of the road. It's 1/4 of a mile long.
Music
I'm listening to the alblum Funeral, by Arcade Fire. It's really good, and you should get it or something.
Until next we meet, fare thee well.
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